The realization that your partner has cheated on you can shatter your peace of mind and leave to distraught. It’s a natural reaction when a spouse betrays faith. Whether or not your marriage survives the betrayal depends on how well you’re able to cope with the aftermath.
You will seek answers to why this had to happen. You will question yourself. You will look back at the relationship and try to understand things. Family turbulence may be a reason for infidelity or it may be something totally unconnected with you.
Consider these steps to deal with infidelity
- Do not act in haste. A knee-jerk decision to end the marriage may give you some satisfaction from a feeling of “revenge”, but could work out poorly for all members of the family. Instead face the issue, consider the causes, and institute remedial action.
- Take care of your health. You could be an earning member of the family. Any distractions from such an upheaval can affect work. Worse it could impact your judgement in activities such as driving or crossing the road. If you’re on medication, remember to take the medicine on time.
- Maintain regular schedule. It will help keep negativity at bay. Maintain a healthy diet, interact with people, go to the gym. Meet friends.
- Cry, if you feel like. Don’t suppress emotions. Let them come out. You will feel low. It’s natural. But don’t wallow in self-pity. You’re not a loser. Don’t let people tell you otherwise.
- Pen down your thoughts. Sometimes answers and solutions appear when we delve deep into a subject. Ask questions. Maintain a diary. You could see an agreeable solution to the issue very much on your down devices.
- Talk to your partner. You must talk to the other person to get perspective on what went wrong with the relationship. You can apportion blame only when you know how things stand. Be gentle, and also be prepared for the fact that your partner may not have all the answers.
- Talk to a counselor. Professional help at this juncture will arm you with information and perspective that will enable you to take a mature decision. An extended affair, a one-night stand, a repeat offence, a slip-up because of emotional instability, disenchantment, insecurity…the reasons can be myriad. Each merits understanding.
- You and partner should be tested for venereal diseases before you resume intimacy with one another.
- Consider the wellbeing of your children. Take steps after consulting an attorney. If there is an existing prenuptial agreement, it will come into play. Let your children in on the details to the extent appropriate for their age and understanding.
- Know that time is the best healer. The pain and confusion that will hit you hard in the beginning won’t go away easily. You will have to work on getting your life back on track. You can keep the marriage going. It may be a practical solution to the matter dictated by your family finances.